To succeed in this life, it takes a lot of resilience. That, and a multitude of other traits that lead you to experience the best possible outcomes. If you avoid cultivating these skills, you will have patterns of struggle and a lack of understanding of why certain situations keep happening to you.

I’ve seen it too many times. In fact, I’ve dealt with it plenty of times myself. For years, I felt lost in an ocean of sharks while I was a minnow. I didn’t know how to swim.

That is not the case anymore. I’ve done as much due diligence as I humanly can to make sure I am no longer a victim of the power games people play day in and day out. In the end, I became a shark myself, as it takes one to understand one.

If you feel like this is a similar story in your life, buckle up, because I have a few insights I’d like to share with you on this topic.

You’ve probably heard people say, “If something makes you happy, keep it private.”

And to me, that used to not make sense. If I’m happy about something, why would others not want to share in that? Don’t we all want to see each other happy?

This was very naive on my end. The first lesson I had to learn was that people primarily care for their self-interest, not for others. Only once they have enough themselves are they willing to potentially share with the needy. And even then, it depends on their generosity.

This magnanimous nature of mine got me burned multiple times. You will run into those who succeed only in taking, and not those who share your sentiments.

However, if you understand this aspect of human nature, you can strive to do better.

You can release yourself from the opinions of others who act selfishly. By doing so, you begin to separate yourself from the uglier side of human nature as time goes on. This frees you from not being able to provide for those you care about.

Here is where resilience is needed. When you stick to your good nature and healthy habits, you will come into such abundance that others will start to ask of you. And if you were resilient enough, you will have enough to give.

How can you best decide who to give to, and where your resources are most needed?

This is where the second insight comes in: Decision-making.

Sound decision-making comes in so many forms. You can study aspects of Game Theory, or learn from the game of life itself, the reward being common sense.

But here I am talking primarily in regard to relationships. How do you separate the takers from those who want to share equally with you? For now, the best decision you can make is not think about it yet.

Build.

Stack.

Earn.

Own.

From there, the people who spend the time it takes to remain in your life will become very clear. As you have less to give, they will either demand too much of you or adapt accordingly.

The ones who adapt are the people you need to keep around.

I’ll keep it real, this is a lonely road.

If you succeed in doing the arduous task of shifting your life to only include those who respect you and exchange fairly, your circle will shrink.

Those you love dearly and those who have done enough to be exceptions to the rule, they will remain.

Those who have pure intentions, they will also remain.

Those who have spent enough time becoming resilient enough to share their blessing with you will remain.

And that will be all you need. Spend enough time developing the cognitive empathy to understand the thought processes behind why people act the way they do, and you will be golden.

You will be that much closer to the truth.